Hi. I just want to say that in this essay I don’t talk about a global crisis. It is just some mundane fluff about how it feels normal to take anxiety meds right now. How I didn’t want to tell you, but now I am telling you that I had botox. It is a soft distraction with which I hope you can relate or pass judgment. (Sometimes it feels good to pass judgment on other people and their stupid choices… I still don’t know why.) And perhaps convince you that the world migh
t feel like it is ending, but I really hope it is not.
I don’t know why you would remember, but a few weeks ago, my therapist told me that I didn’t have to worry about what was going on in Ukraine, that there was nothing I could do about it in California. I had been waking up several times a night with panic attacks about the situation unfolding. She told me that I could take a sleep aid.
Well, here we are. And I get to have the luxury of not being bombed at this moment but living in this weird parallel universe. One where everything is still going.
It feels weird to just go on. But that is how time works. Perhaps we should all just stop like our bodies are telling us to? To really sit with what is going on? Or perhaps we need a little distraction? And the busy town of life is just that.
Yesterday, I went with Josh to get a haircut—by this woman that he has gone to for years. Her name is Brandie, she is amazing. I used to get upset that his haircuts cost so much and then I met Brandie and I understood. Here is a link to her if you are in Oakland. She does her thing, without direction, and I am always attracted to him after. He never used to let me go, but this time he said it was OK and I got to sit in on the session.
Midway through, I asked her about what sort of emotional trends people were talking about these days? If she had noticed anything different about people and the topics they were talking about with her? My theory on hairstylists is they are sneaky therapists. Not that they are actively sneaky, but that people are sneaky and use them as someone who is outside their life to talk to about almost anything. There is something really freeing about sitting down in a comfortable chair, perhaps with some tea, and having someone really look at you. And softly tenderly touch your head. Think about it if you got a head rub and tea before each therapy session? How would that change how therapy worked?
My point here is that even tho Brandy doesn’t have a degree in people, she has spent 25 years meeting with them, to listen to them talk about life. Which is a fuck ton of experience in making people feel listened to and beautiful. Anyway, do you want to hear what she said?
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