Hi everyone. I am doing something wildly unpopular. I am in Hawaii with my family. I was not going to tell anyone because I didn’t want people to judge me, but if you feel like judging me, go for it. I also didn’t want to flaunt my privilege that I could just go on vacation when so many people are in pain. There are lots of reasons why I have not told anyone. But, here we are. We had a rocky start - we lost a wallet, our airb&b was for a different amount of people, and M’s breathing machine decided not to work (we are doing MUCH better, the wallet was found in Dallas, we got a new breathing machine, and somehow I am feeling less guilty about staying in a place kinda on a lie… I am not all that into lying or withholding the truth. Not for any moral reason, but more out of laziness. The truth is just so much easier and simple. I also believe that if you know all of the context of a story, everything is understandable. I know it is a privilege to be able to tell the truth. One that I am really grateful for.
Regardless, I decided on this trip that I want to change. I thought maybe you would too? So I am re-posting this video that I did with Katie Milkman about her book How To Change. For me, I believe her. I don’t know about you, but I seem to know what things are healthy for me, the problem is not that I don’t have the information, the problem is actually doing it. Example: exercise. I feel better, so much better on all fronts when I do it - so why can’t I just make it happen?
So for all of you struggling with knowing what you need to do, but don’t know why you just can’t do it? Make it easy. Set yourself up to make the healthy choice an easy one.
About the book:
Change comes most readily when you understand what’s standing between you and success and tailor your solution to that roadblock. If you want to work out more but find exercise difficult and boring, downloading a goal-setting app probably won’t help. But what if, instead, you transformed your workouts so they became a source of pleasure instead of a chore? Turning an uphill battle into a downhill one is the key to success.
Drawing on Milkman’s original research and the work of her world-renowned scientific collaborators, How to Change shares strategic methods for identifying and overcoming common barriers to change, such as impulsivity, procrastination, and forgetfulness. Through case studies and engaging stories, you’ll learn:
Why timing can be everything when it comes to making a change
How to turn temptation and inertia into assets
That giving advice, even if it’s about something you’re struggling with, can help you achieve more
For more about Katie Milkman’s research visit her site.
Thanks for staying with me - I will be back again next week with Mark Changizi talking Expressly Human: Good communication, conventional wisdom suggests, is calm, logical, rational. Emotions, we’re told, just get in the way.
But what if this is backwards? What if those emotional overtones are the main messages we’re sending to one another, and all that logical language is just window dressing?
Sending a little love and a cool breeze if you need it, Carissa
Truly, Katy Milkman is a treasure. I've listened to Choiceology from season 1 (Katy took over hosting from season 2, I think?) and it's such a great format, filled with all sorts of takeaways that rattle around your brain for weeks. And I just recently read "How To Change" - and love it for how *usable* it feels as well as how readable it is. Katy's work is so generous and fun and - and I should stop, because I'll just keep going with all this. Sorry.
But seriously, everyone: go devour Katy's work.
I could definitely use some change in my life! I have a terrible spending habit so before I go out and buy this book, I will see if it is available anywhere else for me borrow lol. And enjoy yourself! You deserve to take time for yourself and family ❤️