How To Heal From Heartbreak
Taking comfort in serendipity and Glow in the F*cking Dark with Tara Schuster
Vera and my book, How To Heal From Heartbreak, has been out for almost a year now.
Recently, I rewatched the 2001 film Serendipity. This movie is all about how two people are destined to be together - how fate is playing a little game with them. At the beginning of the movie, Sarah puts her name and number in a book and sells it to a bookstore. John spends the rest of the movie mulling over the “could have been” and his “missed opportunity.” Both characters have to “read” the signs to figure out who they are destined to spend their lives with. These signs direct them to run here to find love or go there to find love, and marriage is like this one-time shot you have to find your soulmate (a whole lot of unnecessary pressure if you ask us, but we do love a good drama). The magic is in reading the signs and figuring out the only correct plan for your life.
I grew up on these ideas of fate and love. That there was a master plan, something greater than us sending signals. Even though my definition of what a soulmate is has morphed from “other half where we are only fully complete when together,” to something more like, “Someone who we choose to be together through the hard times. And that takes work and strength.”
Despite the movie having obviously dated itself, there was magic there that I still believe in. There is something to be said for finding something right when you need it. Finding a lost sweater on a cold day. Taking a bite of your favorite sandwich when your stomach is empty. Running into a friend on the street when you feel so alone. I really hope that this book can magically appear in your hands while you are browsing at your local bookstore and need a helping hand navigating a breakup. Or it could show up on your doorstep as a gift from a friend who wants to be by your side.
At the end of the film, John’s partner who he is about to marry gives him the book as a wedding gift. He checks the beginning pages, hoping to find out if he is destined to be married in the morning, and finds Sarah’s name. The sign is clear: he has to cancel the wedding and find Sarah. I wish we had a clear sign for you. A quick direction. But alas, life is complicated. We just want you to feel comfortable being who you are. And find some meaning in the mess that we call “life.”
You have been through so much and somehow found us in this exact moment. We hope that you can find some evidence throughout these pages that suggests you are a resilient creature (feel free to define resilience however you like). We are grateful that fate brought us together. Out of all the books, you could be reading… looking for some sort of meaning you had to pick up this one…
Within this moment, there is something so tragic, yet also beautiful in us meeting this way. Call it fate. Call it destiny. However you want to define it, it is a privilege to be with you. There has to be hope hidden in the coincidence, an alignment of stars.
What are ways you’ve found that help you move through and heal from heartbreak? Do you have a heartbreak that stays with you til this day?
Pick up a copy of the book for yourself here.
This week, I’m excited to be talking with Tara Schuster about her new book, Glow in the F*cking Dark. This book “is a guide to healing your deepest soul wounds, getting off your “good enough” plateau, developing habits that will give you lasting courage and resolve, and creating the spectacular life that you actually want.”
Tara has previously served as vice president of talent and development at Comedy Central, where she was the executive in charge of such critically acclaimed shows as the Emmy and Peabody Award–winning Key & Peele. She has contributed to InStyle, The New Yorker, and Forbes, and much more.
Tara also has a substack that you should definitely read. More to come!
Anyways, thank you so much for being here with us today. It’s really warm here in the Bay Area today and I’m craving something cold. Like a slurpee from 7-Eleven. Hoping you’re staying nice and cool wherever you’re reading this from.
Feel free to define resilience however you like - thank you for this sentence. It is a little serendipity for me finding this, and I shall keep this with me.
Thank you so much for this letter! ❤️🌸
oh boy, wish it was easier hehehe thank u <3