I don't love every part of you.

How contemporary expectations of love are not serving us & IN PERSON interview this week.

Every generation has different expectations about what a good life will look like. For me, a good life meant having someone love me. ALL OF ME. The longing for love also included someone who took care of me. Who let me get my way. Who loved me as my parents did. Swooping in to save me, not because they had to but because they wanted to. This somehow was a really important distinction. Caring for someone because you said you would or you felt like you had to leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Who would want someone to stick around just out of duty? Maybe you. If they were sticking around because they felt they had to, I would at least like them to lie to me about it, and tell otherwise. Sometimes I don’t know if I want the truth. As for most things, however, it is probably complicated. Both duty and love are inseparable at times.

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One of Ester Perel’s famous quotes is, “Tell me how you were loved, and I will tell you how you make love.” This quote implies that there is a direct relationship between how your parents cared for you and your current expectations from your partner.

Recently we asked you on IG to share with us some topics that are currently on your minds.

• @senseh47 is thinking about love

• @lemonsteps wonders how to get to know yourself better

• Making hard choices is something @ecila.80 and many others including myself want to know how to do

This got me thinking. About the interconnectedness of the self and the people we love. When do we know to stick things out and when to let go?