Internal vs External Motivation

Why rewards don't work in the long term

I don’t know about you, but I was raised on positive feedback. And I feel really grateful for it. I do things so that I will get praise. I have no way to evaluate if something is good or bad beyond what other people tell me it is. This was the trend when I was young - we got gold stars for sharing, we got graded on a curve for us to evaluate ourselves within our peers, and prizes were held in condition for good behavior.

Alfie Kohn argues that these things are not good for fostering intrinsic motivation. They only offer temporary compliance and overtime doesn’t create the things we really value - like care, compassion, and genuine interest.

If you are interested in why you feel that feeling of meaninglessness when you don’t have external benchmarks to compare yourself to, Mr. Kohn’s research will break down why that might be. In addition, he offers suggestions on how to create your own path - in your workplace, with your children, and with yourself.

If you want to find out more, he has dozens of free articles on his website:

www.alfiekohn.org/ - a personal favorite of mine is Can Everyone Be Excellent?

I am definitely motivated to change how I act with my daughter, co-workers, partners, and self after encountering his radical perspective shift.

Key ideas:

Rewards are every bit as punishing as punishments (consequences)

Control and rewards diminish one’s natural curiosity and enjoyment of the activity

We need to question why? Why do we want this behavior? What are our expectations? Why are we offering praise? If it is in an attempt to manipulate ourselves or others, it might not be an effective strategy in the long run.

Humans are innately curious. They are conditioned to want rewards.

This quote from Punished by Rewards pretty much sums up my life:

This is a SUPER heated topic. Does any of this help you understand why you might be the way you are?