Reconciling with the one that got away...

3 questions on your mind & Get It Done book Giveaway

On for something new: things you want to talk about. This week, we asked you to give us some topics that you want to talk about. And you did. People wanted to talk about the harder stuff, which I am happy to sit with you and dig into. The questions I am going to explore today are:

1. Reconciling with the one that got away from @maddyjay_

2. Feeling lonely even though you are in a relationship from @builderwinn

3. Staying in a relationship with someone when you know it’s not going to work out from @amiraforthesun

There is something in each of the above that resonated with me deeply, and I feel oddly excited to untangle the complexities with you.

Also, I am interviewing Ayelet Fishbach on her book Get It Done this Wednesday. We have a few copies to give away. Ayelet studies the things we can do to change our environment when we are trying to reach goals but just can’t seem to actually do it. I am plagued by the idea that I know what I need to do, but somehow just can’t do it, are you?)

Comment here if you could use some help getting things done (there will be a spot later this week to comment for free subscribers, hang tight.)

1. Reconciling with the one that got away

I don’t know why, but there is a certain amount of shame in this one, for me. Admitting that I lost a love, or still thinking about an ex. During the pandemic, every day I walked with my father up a hill and basically re-lived his past dating history. I feel like this is a thing that I also delight in as I age. Looking back on all the could-have-been loves and feeling a sense of sweet loss.

Perhaps the shame lies in a few places. One, there is something about assuming possibilities that hinge on other people’s feelings. Or that perhaps it takes away from a current relationship to acknowledge that you might still have feelings for someone else. This idea that we are supposed to have one love, that we cannot hold love for lots of people, I feel like is at fault here.