Can I accept that things aren't perfect?

Partners having different affection styles, how to get attention to your work, likes and shares on IG as an artist

HI. Hello. Welcome back to our conversation column, where we are talking complicated stuff, murky stuff, stuff that there is no clear right or wrong, only our perception of the situation. I feel really grateful to share this space with you. Today I cover:

1. From @che0mau - “How to come to terms with a partner having a way different affection style”

2. From @bsbsk - “How do I get attention to my work? I work small (like, card size) I think it’s good, how to sell”

3. From @yasmeenfanari - “Getting stuck in a style & artists on IG, likes and shares”

“How to come to terms with a partner having a way different affection style”

This is a hard one. I think conceptually, or on the surface, it seems really simple. Either, find someone new, or understand the other person’s style and interpret it as they mean it. Work on communication.

Fucking hard. Josh, my partner, and I have different love languages. I am words of affirmation and he is acts of service (with the rule that he has to intuit what you would want and surprise you. If you ask for what you want, then the special energy or will to make it happen dies. And doing the thing becomes a duty).

In contrast, I love being told I am loved. I don’t want a new book that I didn’t actually want, or someone to clean out the gutters. Over the weekend, though, I really wanted to be touched, and told I looked beautiful (I wore makeup and a dress one night). I was “told” this by someone stretching my canvases for me and making custom frames for me with their new chop saw.

Because of the way I was conditioned growing up, I am grateful for those things, I really am, but they don’t make me feel what I long to feel. In contrast, words mean nothing to him. It actually makes him feel uncomfortable when I tell him I love him. And when I tell him how brilliant I think he is. Or that I really think he has sexy ankles. It is weird how with age, my taste has evolved. Has it for you?

But where is the threshold where you work on coming to terms with your different affection styles, or you just let go?