How Did You Get By?
New York Times columnists, illustrator Julia Rothman and writer Shaina Feinberg explore the stories of over 100 people.
New York Times columnists Julia Rothman and Shaina Feinberg are addicted to feeling connected. Since 2019 they have been interviewing people on the streets about topics that we are not supposed to talk about openly. What they are seeking is the relief you feel after sharing something shameful (both for the “sharer” and “listener”). What all this work, the thinking of topics, the interviews, the time and care transciption, what comes out of this process of journalism? An honest account (to the best of their ability) of what is actually going on for people.
Their Scratch column in the New York Times features stories on topics such as smoking, hair thinning, how much money people actually have, sex lives, and everything that we are not talking openly about. With their new book, they aimed to address every dramatic thing that happened to people during the last few years.
They tried. But somehow when doing the research, people’s problems started to overlap. They found the stories both unique and universal, offering a guidepost for other people experiencing the same type of thing to feel less alone. How We Got By features stories about addiction, career changes, relationships morphing, death, health, the body, and more.
What would it feel like to be able to say the things that you were thinking? Or hear someone else say the things that you were thinking? This book is like a sweet sip of bitter hot chocolate. A cozy nod to humanity’s resilience or ability to make it through hard moments. It offers perspective on topics that you don’t hear about.
I am biased. I am in the book. Julia and Shaina asked if I would share a story. My story was about abortion. I had two during the pandemic. Both I desperately wanted. However, genetically, the stars were not aligned for me. You might be thinking, wow, Carissa you are a horrible person. How could you do that? Why not just do IVF if you really wanted a second child that bad? And in hindsight, I wish I would have. IVF is really expensive. Cost prohibitive. I wrote a case to our health insurance, to cover the abortions and the IVF, saying that in the end, it would save them billions (literally) in money if they just fronted the cost. But it was denied. It’s OK if you judge me. I judge me too. The thing I tell myself every day is that I made the best decisions I could with the information I had at the time.
We have a few copies to send to people when the book comes out. Comment here if you are interested in one (USA only, sorry!):
or better yet, Buy the book.
Authors depend on pre-sales to get their books out there. If you like the book, why not just support Julia and Shaina? This book, their work is definitely a labor of love. Julia hand-painted every portrait of everyone she talked to. Shaina hand-transcribed each word to best convey the tone of the storyteller.
We talk a little in the interview about how we know if people are telling the truth. Are you good at telling if people are lying to you? I am not. I assume everyone is telling me their truth in some way shape or manner. Apparently, the thing that people were inclined to lie about most? Smoking. Who knew?
How did you find comfort in times of uncertainty? I found them in making art and watching my daughter. Realizing how much I took for granted. And with the new mantra, “It could always be worse.”
This sounds amazing. What we need in this world is more connection, compassion and kindness. And honesty! Your illustrations always resonate.
This book sounds so wonderful and relatable. A balm. I would love a copy. I am also MORE than happy to support by pre-ordering <3