On Monday, I posted about how I felt like everyone was feeling closer during the pandemic, but me. I wanted to check in with everyone about what they were feeling and to stop assuming everyone was doing better than I was.

So I asked: How has COVID had an effect on your intimacy satisfaction?

Here are the poll results after one day:

I want to take a moment to define what I mean by “intimacy,” since I didn’t do it earlier. My understanding might be different from yours, so here goes: I think about it as a sort of scale of closeness. On which I feel validated and safe. I feel pretty safe with my mom, my partner (in totally different ways), my dad, my sister, and my kid. As well as my close friends.

How to visualize what it feels like to be accepted, safe, and validated? Imagine yourself there.

For me, this time I would say I have been lucky to have the proximity closeness of people—but that I have taken for granted this proximity and turned it into an illusion of intimacy. This false facade is one where it avoids doing the work that closeness requires from time to time. I am not saying that sometimes it doesn’t feel easy or convenient too, but it ebbs and flows like the moon.

This week, I don’t have an interview, but Tim Belonax will be with me next week, and the following week I will be interviewing Susan Cain (and doing a Bittersweet book giveaway!!!). Tim is a Design Director at Pinterest and author of the book The Reward Is In The Process. I am going to talk to him about tech, design and finding joy in the process.

BOOK GIVEAWAY this week:

Vera and I wrote How To Heal Heartbreak in 2020. I have a few copies left before our new version comes out with Penguin Random House (YAYYYYY). The new book is completely different than the og, but we really hope you find it useful in navigating complex emotions…

How to Heal Heartbreak - Books products by People I've Loved– Vespertine Boutique

But I have a few copies left of the original book at the studio, for the giveaway this week. All you have to do is comment below and I will email people early next week to ship a few out (U.S. residents only).

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As always thanks for doing this with me. I love love love being here with you. Here are a few more comments that helped me get a sense of where people were at from IG…

Thank you for reading BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS. This post is public so feel free to share it.

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BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS

Intimacy results: We are spending a lot of…