My therapist has taught me that anxiety is living in the future, depression is living in the past, so stay present. The book The Untethered Soul says much the same. And yet I still have times of anxiety and depression. This doesn't mean I think that anyone's experience is invalid or that there's a magic spell, just that I have been working hard to stay in the present to help with those other things. Now when I talk to someone who feels anxious or depressed, I ask better questions, like what in your past or future is making you feel like this. It helps open the conversation up and provides some insight. And sometimes it is nothing.
I always need better questions. As a person who likes to sit in any time but the present, this is such a good reminder. Thanks. This makes me think that I should compile all of this good advice somewhere...
This is a topic that whirls around in my head a lot. For me sadness is still felt in color, while depression is a muddled grey. I feel like depression is when I stop caring about being sad. Depression, to me, feels like the sibling of apathy. When I am sad, I can still feel. When I am depressed, I can’t. I have found. as a writer, that feelings inform being able to write relatable stories. When I’m sad I feel it’s awful, but even as I’m crying I think I can use it one day. But when depressed I don’t have any interest or want to use or do anything ever again. Thankfully depression has gotten easier to manage and I feel it coming from much further away. I’ve never quite clarified it this way before though- thank you for your curiosity and sharing on the topic. It really helped this morning.
Hi Caroline. This feels really relatable. I mean, the colors. The greyness. Both very accurately illustrate how the two feelings exist in my head. I don't know if it will ever be really clear to me. When you say you have it under control, what do you mean by that if you don't mind sharing?
Carissa, I’m taking medications, I have started recently, about 3/4 months ago. I’m a different person, life is different already. It’s normal to feel like shit about needing ‘something’ to be normal. But the brain can have unbalances; these unbalances can’t just be overcome with strength of will. You can’t cure a violent allergy without taking pills. Well it’s the same. If your brain is sick, you need to help it. I for once don’t feel bad about it, and you shouldn’t either.
Life is too short to feel bad about living slightly better--even if that means taking pills.
I agree about life being too short to feel bad about feeling better. That one I need to embed in my brain. hope you are feeling better. I am not planning on getting off my zolopt any time soon. I think that is VERY scary. ALSO, no one reading this should think that they should base their decisions on what I am saying. I am not a professional, I just think about this stuff a lot....
It was great. Two groups back to back so Larry and I had 16 days in Iceland. The days were sunny and the northern lights appeared nearly every night. The writing was inspired by the amazing otherworldly sites we saw everywhere. Hope you can come next time!!
I LOVE the image depicting the decision to hold onto pain and sadness in an effort not to forget someone. It's incredibly honest, and that to me is a sign of complicated grief more so than simple depression.
It's just my 1000ft view, of course. And as we all project things we have experienced into art, it's likely just something that has worried me in others.
I do it. Perhaps it is masochistic? I mean, 😭 ... But there is something I find really worthy in the act of being sad as a form of memory. The book is really good. I think my interview with her is ok. BUT the book.
Depression it's not a flaw. It's a powerfull illness. Nowadays, everything is pathologized, even sadness is mistaken for depression. Sadness is normal, depression is a disease
I agree. But I think for me, the question is what is the threashold where sadness becomes depression? Often times, in my mind, I find that my depression takes the form of guilt. And when it is bad, I don't catch it soon enough. Depression for me is undoubtedly not a flaw. It is a beautiful complex part of being in touch with the reality of the world and how it works. I am not trying to romanticize it, but to talk about it in neutral ways.
Ho Carissa. The threshold of depression is when sadness becomes persistent and long-lasting. On the other hand, depression involves a multitude of physiological, psychological and social factors.
Yes, depression involves some form of self-blame. I often say that sadness comes from the outside and depression from the inside.
ok. so that is helpful. I have never heard that, Depression comes from the inside, sadness from the outside. That is really interesting... I have to think about that. For me, I think I have boundary issues, and having this above framework is really really nice.
Carissa, I love your awareness that your depression feels like guilt. Thanks for sharing. In the framework I use with my clients (therapist here), I conceptualize depression and anxiety very similarly. Guilt, shame, and anxiety are all “inhibitory” emotions, meaning they suppress our deeper “core” emotions (anger, sadness, joy, etc). Our core emotions energetically have an upward sensation, while inhibitory emotions feel almost like a wet blanket.
In this way, perhaps sadness and depression aren’t actually on the same continuum. One can feel immense sadness for months over a lost loved one, but never actually fall into depression. What matters more, I think, is whether or not we have the capacity to feel our core emotions without narratives or beliefs that we are “bad” for feeling that way.
My therapist has taught me that anxiety is living in the future, depression is living in the past, so stay present. The book The Untethered Soul says much the same. And yet I still have times of anxiety and depression. This doesn't mean I think that anyone's experience is invalid or that there's a magic spell, just that I have been working hard to stay in the present to help with those other things. Now when I talk to someone who feels anxious or depressed, I ask better questions, like what in your past or future is making you feel like this. It helps open the conversation up and provides some insight. And sometimes it is nothing.
I always need better questions. As a person who likes to sit in any time but the present, this is such a good reminder. Thanks. This makes me think that I should compile all of this good advice somewhere...
Agreed! Because each of us could use a reminder here and there.
This is a topic that whirls around in my head a lot. For me sadness is still felt in color, while depression is a muddled grey. I feel like depression is when I stop caring about being sad. Depression, to me, feels like the sibling of apathy. When I am sad, I can still feel. When I am depressed, I can’t. I have found. as a writer, that feelings inform being able to write relatable stories. When I’m sad I feel it’s awful, but even as I’m crying I think I can use it one day. But when depressed I don’t have any interest or want to use or do anything ever again. Thankfully depression has gotten easier to manage and I feel it coming from much further away. I’ve never quite clarified it this way before though- thank you for your curiosity and sharing on the topic. It really helped this morning.
Hi Caroline. This feels really relatable. I mean, the colors. The greyness. Both very accurately illustrate how the two feelings exist in my head. I don't know if it will ever be really clear to me. When you say you have it under control, what do you mean by that if you don't mind sharing?
Carissa, I’m taking medications, I have started recently, about 3/4 months ago. I’m a different person, life is different already. It’s normal to feel like shit about needing ‘something’ to be normal. But the brain can have unbalances; these unbalances can’t just be overcome with strength of will. You can’t cure a violent allergy without taking pills. Well it’s the same. If your brain is sick, you need to help it. I for once don’t feel bad about it, and you shouldn’t either.
Life is too short to feel bad about living slightly better--even if that means taking pills.
My two pence anyways x
I agree about life being too short to feel bad about feeling better. That one I need to embed in my brain. hope you are feeling better. I am not planning on getting off my zolopt any time soon. I think that is VERY scary. ALSO, no one reading this should think that they should base their decisions on what I am saying. I am not a professional, I just think about this stuff a lot....
It was great. Two groups back to back so Larry and I had 16 days in Iceland. The days were sunny and the northern lights appeared nearly every night. The writing was inspired by the amazing otherworldly sites we saw everywhere. Hope you can come next time!!
In my dreams I move there.... and swim everyday.
I want to move there too but only swim in the geothermal waters. It's the best place to be at the end of the world, I think.
Oh so happy you interviewed Rachel!! I think maybe I mentioned her book in a comment a few months back. Fantastic.
How is iceland? I am still jealous.
I LOVE the image depicting the decision to hold onto pain and sadness in an effort not to forget someone. It's incredibly honest, and that to me is a sign of complicated grief more so than simple depression.
It's just my 1000ft view, of course. And as we all project things we have experienced into art, it's likely just something that has worried me in others.
Need to find time to listen!
I do it. Perhaps it is masochistic? I mean, 😭 ... But there is something I find really worthy in the act of being sad as a form of memory. The book is really good. I think my interview with her is ok. BUT the book.
Depression it's not a flaw. It's a powerfull illness. Nowadays, everything is pathologized, even sadness is mistaken for depression. Sadness is normal, depression is a disease
I agree. But I think for me, the question is what is the threashold where sadness becomes depression? Often times, in my mind, I find that my depression takes the form of guilt. And when it is bad, I don't catch it soon enough. Depression for me is undoubtedly not a flaw. It is a beautiful complex part of being in touch with the reality of the world and how it works. I am not trying to romanticize it, but to talk about it in neutral ways.
Ho Carissa. The threshold of depression is when sadness becomes persistent and long-lasting. On the other hand, depression involves a multitude of physiological, psychological and social factors.
Yes, depression involves some form of self-blame. I often say that sadness comes from the outside and depression from the inside.
ok. so that is helpful. I have never heard that, Depression comes from the inside, sadness from the outside. That is really interesting... I have to think about that. For me, I think I have boundary issues, and having this above framework is really really nice.
I think this one can help. Is in Portuguese, but you can easily translate it using ChatGpt
https://www.rolandoandrade.com/en/2018/03/23/tristeza-nao-e-depressao/
Carissa, I love your awareness that your depression feels like guilt. Thanks for sharing. In the framework I use with my clients (therapist here), I conceptualize depression and anxiety very similarly. Guilt, shame, and anxiety are all “inhibitory” emotions, meaning they suppress our deeper “core” emotions (anger, sadness, joy, etc). Our core emotions energetically have an upward sensation, while inhibitory emotions feel almost like a wet blanket.
In this way, perhaps sadness and depression aren’t actually on the same continuum. One can feel immense sadness for months over a lost loved one, but never actually fall into depression. What matters more, I think, is whether or not we have the capacity to feel our core emotions without narratives or beliefs that we are “bad” for feeling that way.
You. Are. Amazing. This is exactly it. Context. This illustration of the multiple sides is really helpful I think.