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Kieren Dutcher's avatar

This is what I wish I had told my kids when they asked about Santa, the Easter Bunny or whatever magical belief we were talking about:

https://proactiveparenting.net/the-sweetest-way-to-tell-your-kids-the-truth-about-santa/

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Carissa Potter's avatar

OK, Yes. There is no one easter bunny. What a poetic meaningful response to a complex question. That leaves space for the mystery. Thank you so much for sharing. I am going to try this. Thanks for helping me keep the magic in an honest way...

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Pluto Wolnosci's avatar

“Still, when I think about what I missed by not growing up with faith, I feel a certain longing.”

We learned with our daughter that kids can still choose to believe, even when confronted with the truth.

But we would ask “why do you ask?” Or “what do you think?” And let her decide.

Our son who is older, was different. He wanted the “truth” so he could know. He wanted the secret (and he wouldn’t tell others).

I believed, in my small town, where I was basically townie royalty with grandparents in our very small government, that the fireworks around my birthday were for me until I was 12. That was way too long. I now know that my autism was what let me continue, but I also have seen in my own kids the moment where a lie will hurt and the truth can be explained.

I don’t know if that helps. It’s possible your kid will forget for next year. It’s possible she’ll want you to retell the lie.

But you’ll know. Even if it *feels* wrong immediately after, trust your understanding of your kid. Know that you’ll walk through whatever mess together.

(And my gay teen, with her trans friends, still loves Harry Potter, we don’t buy stuff that will support that bitch, but she tells me we can’t judge a child on their parents’ views.)

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Carissa Potter's avatar

Wow. There is so much here. I have to agree about J.K. - screw her. But it is hard not to love HP. I loved that you thought the fireworks were for you. That you felt like royality. That your youth was magical. But my favorite part of this is, "But you’ll know. Even if it *feels* wrong immediately after, trust your understanding of your kid. Know that you’ll walk through whatever mess together." I want to believe that. Life feels so messy right now.

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Pluto Wolnosci's avatar

It’s true though! If you love your kids, treat them like people, and teach them to respect their own and others’ emotions, you’ll be cool.

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Vdes's avatar

This line, "Love looks like being in each other’s presence, over time." I love reading what you write, and the truth, that so often you hit on, frequently bittersweet and still sweet you write of. thank you

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Vdes's avatar

also i love love and so enjoy your art, so to the point and heartfelt, not pretentious so effective and connecting ....

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