I think we have a tendency to hold onto unpleasant emotions, as if to examine them, figure out why they are here, poke around to understand them. We don't do that with joy. We just say, "Oh, there you are," and then sort of ignore it. Joy is uncomplicated. Other emotions need to be "figured out". But, maybe if we just said, "Oh, there you are," to sadness, and went about our business, like we do with joy, maybe it would seem fleeting, too? xo
what's worked for me for the past few months, after what feels like a lifetime of being unregulated, is sticking to a few daily activities that i know make me feel good. simply, it's a combination of movement, absorbing, and releasing. in a day, that can look like a hike, reading a book, and writing 3 pages in my journal. other days, it's a yoga class, watching a movie, and having dinner with my friends. or going for a walk, being in nature, painting. it feels like i'm taking one long, deep breath every day - inhaling (absorb), sitting with it (move), exhaling (release). in no particular order. of course this isn't scientifically proven and who knows if it has longevity but it's been making me feel literally incredible for at least the past 3 months!!!!! maybe also in part due to my new addiction to mushroom coffee...lol....
I’ve noticed as the more my husband and I heal emotionally, the less time it takes us to rebound after the other one has a mental health episode. We also recognize quicker what’s happening in ourselves - “oh, yeah, you were in rough shape last weekend and I held it together and now you’re better so it makes sense I’m crashing now.” And once we’ve recognized it it’s on its way to recovery.
I wonder if it could be true that a person with mental health issues can only couple with another person with mental health issues? I wasn't aware of my BPD for a long while but now that I know I wonder about my spouse.
Thank you for sharing your struggles. My husband and I struggle with depression and after awhile if one is struggling the other one of us does too. Last week was a very hard week for us too. I don’t have any answers but it helps to know others are having the same issues. 😉
It’s been a rough few months. Your second quote on this page has been my mantra since the start of 2023. Just wanted to say thank you and I very much relate to all of this.
I think we have a tendency to hold onto unpleasant emotions, as if to examine them, figure out why they are here, poke around to understand them. We don't do that with joy. We just say, "Oh, there you are," and then sort of ignore it. Joy is uncomplicated. Other emotions need to be "figured out". But, maybe if we just said, "Oh, there you are," to sadness, and went about our business, like we do with joy, maybe it would seem fleeting, too? xo
what's worked for me for the past few months, after what feels like a lifetime of being unregulated, is sticking to a few daily activities that i know make me feel good. simply, it's a combination of movement, absorbing, and releasing. in a day, that can look like a hike, reading a book, and writing 3 pages in my journal. other days, it's a yoga class, watching a movie, and having dinner with my friends. or going for a walk, being in nature, painting. it feels like i'm taking one long, deep breath every day - inhaling (absorb), sitting with it (move), exhaling (release). in no particular order. of course this isn't scientifically proven and who knows if it has longevity but it's been making me feel literally incredible for at least the past 3 months!!!!! maybe also in part due to my new addiction to mushroom coffee...lol....
I’ve noticed as the more my husband and I heal emotionally, the less time it takes us to rebound after the other one has a mental health episode. We also recognize quicker what’s happening in ourselves - “oh, yeah, you were in rough shape last weekend and I held it together and now you’re better so it makes sense I’m crashing now.” And once we’ve recognized it it’s on its way to recovery.
I wonder if it could be true that a person with mental health issues can only couple with another person with mental health issues? I wasn't aware of my BPD for a long while but now that I know I wonder about my spouse.
Enjoyed ur article, very much .
Thank you for sharing your struggles. My husband and I struggle with depression and after awhile if one is struggling the other one of us does too. Last week was a very hard week for us too. I don’t have any answers but it helps to know others are having the same issues. 😉
I am a kitchen sink approach to fending off depression in particular order:
Baths
Naps
Crying
Shaking like the Shakers or The Quakers I will tell you about the science behind it later
Call a friend
Call another friend
Call another other friend
Love on my dog
Watch animal videos
Cry some more
Journal
Avoid Journaling
Go to bed at 7pm
Stay up all night
Each my veggies and fruits
Eat my favorite trash food
Drink more water
Go take a walk on the beach
Play with my dog
Listen to other people's problems
Do not judge myself for feeling overwhelmed
Be kinder to myself
Box breathing
Push my face in a bowl of ice cold water
5 min dance party
Help someone out
Do a random act of kindness
Drop off books to free libraries in my hood
Buy myself some fucking flowers
Cry
Cry again
Cry in a different room
Do some laundry
Indulge in some online retail window shopping
Remember that depression is not forever
Remember I am not my feelings I am not my thoughts
Remember why I adore my friends and believe they probably feel the same way about me
Watch Hot Fuzz
Eventually I will have a shift and that makes all the difference.
It’s been a rough few months. Your second quote on this page has been my mantra since the start of 2023. Just wanted to say thank you and I very much relate to all of this.